What do you remember most about Sundays as a child?
I remember lazy days at home where Mum would occasionally do a mini spring clean of the house followed by a late soupy lunch that consisted of thick chicken broth filled with various vegetables and some meatballs thrown in.
On some evenings we would take a stroll or bike at the local lake where my brother and I would try out the various exercise routines littered along the jogging path.
Other days we would have our favorite Japanese at Bangsar Shopping Centre or brunch yumcha at the Shangrila Hotel. Dinners would generally be at our favorite steak place Jakes.
I never really gave these events much thought until recently.
Tomorrow we plan to take P to the playground then relax at home with a nice home cooked dinner. Sounds like any other given Sunday.
The thing is, as parents we don't just love, plan, educate, guide and provide for our children. We create memories that last a lifetime!
Saturday 25 June 2011
Thursday 16 June 2011
Lack of Knowledge Regarding Childbirth Options
Pregnant women show an amazing lack of knowledge about childbirth options, study shows
By Shari Roan, Los Angeles Times
June 14, 2011
Fewer pregnant women and their partners are attending prenatal education classes these days and appear to be quietly following whatever advice the doctor or midwife recommends, researchers said Monday.
Doctors, led by Dr. Michael Klein of the Child & Family Research Institute and University of British Columbia, surveyed 1,318 healthy pregnant women. They found many seemingly unprepared to make their own decisions regarding childbirth options, such as whether to have natural childbirth or a Cesarean section.
RELATED
Birth: U.S. home births increase 20% from 2004 to 2008
More women should have choice of vaginal birth after C-section, panel says
Women today appear to turn childbirth decisions over to their doctors, study finds.
Caesarean sections are a major factor in pregnancy-related deaths, report finds
Fewer than 30% of the women, all first-time mothers, said they had attended prenatal childbirth classes. Many said they used the Internet or books to become informed about childbirth. Still, a shockingly high number could not answer basic questions regarding the pros, cons or safety issues associated with epidurals, episiotomies, Cesareans and other childbirth options. The women who were receiving obstetrical care from midwives tended to be more informed about their options compared with women receiving care from a medical doctor.
"[E]ven late in pregnancy, many women reported uncertainty about benefits and risks of common procedures used in childbirth," Klein said in a news release. "This is worrisome because a lack of knowledge affects their ability to engage in informed discussions with their caregivers."
The study was published in the June issue of Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canada.
The type of provider mattered greatly in terms of what kind of care women received. The researchers published a related study in May in the journal Birth that showed younger obstetricians were much more likely to favor the routine use of epidurals and expressed more concerns about the safety of vaginal birth compared with older obstetricians. The younger obstetricians seemed to view C-sections as the preferred option for childbirth, the authors noted. In the United States, efforts have begun to reduce C-section rates. About one-third of all U.S. women have a surgical birth.
Above article from The LA Times.
Although we now have access to a greater wealth of knowledge via technology it is quite alarming as to how little education a lot of pregnant mothers have. Many place full faith in their doctors and immediately opt for a C-section due to the pain.
Unless you really need a C-sec do not! Personally, if you aren't ready to face the pain of labour you aren't ready to have a child. (Prolly will get shot for that comment!) Read up on all the other options available. You will be pleasantly surprised!
By Shari Roan, Los Angeles Times
June 14, 2011
Fewer pregnant women and their partners are attending prenatal education classes these days and appear to be quietly following whatever advice the doctor or midwife recommends, researchers said Monday.
Doctors, led by Dr. Michael Klein of the Child & Family Research Institute and University of British Columbia, surveyed 1,318 healthy pregnant women. They found many seemingly unprepared to make their own decisions regarding childbirth options, such as whether to have natural childbirth or a Cesarean section.
RELATED
Birth: U.S. home births increase 20% from 2004 to 2008
More women should have choice of vaginal birth after C-section, panel says
Women today appear to turn childbirth decisions over to their doctors, study finds.
Caesarean sections are a major factor in pregnancy-related deaths, report finds
Fewer than 30% of the women, all first-time mothers, said they had attended prenatal childbirth classes. Many said they used the Internet or books to become informed about childbirth. Still, a shockingly high number could not answer basic questions regarding the pros, cons or safety issues associated with epidurals, episiotomies, Cesareans and other childbirth options. The women who were receiving obstetrical care from midwives tended to be more informed about their options compared with women receiving care from a medical doctor.
"[E]ven late in pregnancy, many women reported uncertainty about benefits and risks of common procedures used in childbirth," Klein said in a news release. "This is worrisome because a lack of knowledge affects their ability to engage in informed discussions with their caregivers."
The study was published in the June issue of Journal of Obstetrics and Gynaecology Canada.
The type of provider mattered greatly in terms of what kind of care women received. The researchers published a related study in May in the journal Birth that showed younger obstetricians were much more likely to favor the routine use of epidurals and expressed more concerns about the safety of vaginal birth compared with older obstetricians. The younger obstetricians seemed to view C-sections as the preferred option for childbirth, the authors noted. In the United States, efforts have begun to reduce C-section rates. About one-third of all U.S. women have a surgical birth.
Above article from The LA Times.
Although we now have access to a greater wealth of knowledge via technology it is quite alarming as to how little education a lot of pregnant mothers have. Many place full faith in their doctors and immediately opt for a C-section due to the pain.
Unless you really need a C-sec do not! Personally, if you aren't ready to face the pain of labour you aren't ready to have a child. (Prolly will get shot for that comment!) Read up on all the other options available. You will be pleasantly surprised!
Potty Training
Recently I have started P on a new routine, which is potty training.
Actually, looking back now, P could have been potty trained earlier but I was just plain lazy!
It has been 3 weeks and each morning I promptly place him on his potty, encourage him with the usual sounds of "shhhh shhhhh" and "mmmm mmmmm" then viola within 5 minutes he would have done his deed. Honestly, don't know why I didn't start it earlier! Would have saved me all the dirty nappies!
Although, for now I am stuck as to how I would know when he needs to pee. It's not like he can tell me yet. I did get some potty training underwear that we have yet to try out.
I need tips badly!
Or am I being too optimistic trying to fully potty train a 1 year old? Hmmmm.....
Actually, looking back now, P could have been potty trained earlier but I was just plain lazy!
It has been 3 weeks and each morning I promptly place him on his potty, encourage him with the usual sounds of "shhhh shhhhh" and "mmmm mmmmm" then viola within 5 minutes he would have done his deed. Honestly, don't know why I didn't start it earlier! Would have saved me all the dirty nappies!
Although, for now I am stuck as to how I would know when he needs to pee. It's not like he can tell me yet. I did get some potty training underwear that we have yet to try out.
I need tips badly!
Or am I being too optimistic trying to fully potty train a 1 year old? Hmmmm.....
Monday 6 June 2011
The Global Generation - Home
I was laying in bed one lazy Sunday afternoon and I thought about Ps life. Simple things like what would he look like as he grew older, would he be a noble, honest, strong and determined man, if he would ever remember how attached he was to me as a baby. And then I realized that P is in a rather unique situation. I look at his friends who are of various nationalities and of mixed races. The next generation is so global, so mixed and mashed that the lines of nationalities and races are no longer an issue.
Take P for example. In essence he is a Chinese Australian/Indonesian but he has a Malaysian born Australian mother married to an Indonesian living in Jakarta. Pretty complicated right? Then I look to his playgroup friends and they are a huge concoction of mixed Caucasian with South American, Japanese, Indonesian, Indian, Thai, and plenty more. Majority of them are typical nomadic expatriate families who love travelling and being stationed in various countries.
How do these children grow up I wonder? Where would they call home?
As for P, how Chinese or Australian or Indonesian will he be?
Then I look at my own life. Brought up in an English speaking household where neither parent or my brother can read or write Mandarin. The only thing Chinese we may have in our daily lives would be eating rice and drinking soup for dinner. Aren't we all a confused bunch calling ourselves Chinese with nothing much to show for besides our skin colour.
Perhaps the main question of being so global is where would we call home?
How do we define home? Would home be a house that has fond memories? A city where majority of our lives were spent? Where our family reside? A place where we have decided to start a family? Or simply somewhere we find ourselves most happy at?
I still call Sydney home simply because it is where I am most comfortable and of course where my family are. Jakarta, is a semi-home of sorts, struggling with the love-hate relationship this city offers.
I do wonder how and where P will wind up. Will he be confused? Or would he seize the opportunities set before him and utilize it fully given his unique situation.
But above all, I pray and hope that he finds home in us, his family.
Take P for example. In essence he is a Chinese Australian/Indonesian but he has a Malaysian born Australian mother married to an Indonesian living in Jakarta. Pretty complicated right? Then I look to his playgroup friends and they are a huge concoction of mixed Caucasian with South American, Japanese, Indonesian, Indian, Thai, and plenty more. Majority of them are typical nomadic expatriate families who love travelling and being stationed in various countries.
How do these children grow up I wonder? Where would they call home?
As for P, how Chinese or Australian or Indonesian will he be?
Then I look at my own life. Brought up in an English speaking household where neither parent or my brother can read or write Mandarin. The only thing Chinese we may have in our daily lives would be eating rice and drinking soup for dinner. Aren't we all a confused bunch calling ourselves Chinese with nothing much to show for besides our skin colour.
Perhaps the main question of being so global is where would we call home?
How do we define home? Would home be a house that has fond memories? A city where majority of our lives were spent? Where our family reside? A place where we have decided to start a family? Or simply somewhere we find ourselves most happy at?
I still call Sydney home simply because it is where I am most comfortable and of course where my family are. Jakarta, is a semi-home of sorts, struggling with the love-hate relationship this city offers.
I do wonder how and where P will wind up. Will he be confused? Or would he seize the opportunities set before him and utilize it fully given his unique situation.
But above all, I pray and hope that he finds home in us, his family.
Tuesday 3 May 2011
Trials & Tribulations of Feeding a Baby
Anyone who has a baby will identify with feeding time. It can be the most joyous, painful, patience testing, jubilant and frustrating time all in one.
P has always been an ok eater. When I started him on solids he would lap it all up within 10minutes. Purees were so easy and simply to make, I didn't have to bother about cooking daily and all I had to do was bring down a bottle or two from the freezer.
Now that he is almost 1, feeding him can truly test my patience. There are days where he polishes everything off on his plate and others where he's more interested in throwing out his feeding utensils.
I do however, have realized something. He gobbles down finger food within minutes.
Then I started reading about Baby Led Weaning.
Although I do find it quite scary to give a 6 month old finger foods, I looked back and remember that I did give P some baby biscuits and rusks which he happily lapped up.
Do babies hate being spoon fed that much?
I am torn between allowing him the freedom to explore and eat as he pleases. The mum in me screams what would happen to his "balanced diet", but the other me reckons he will grow to eat on his own and no baby has ever starved itself. The Chinese mum in me believes that he needs his bowl of nutritious double boiled soup daily!
To prevent further stress about P obtaining wholesome food I have now decided that, he eats however much he eats with that bowl of soup of course as long as he sits in his highchair and doesn't watch tv or run around during mealtimes. If he fusses at mealtimes and clamps his mouth shut that would mean the end of mealtime.
Look at it this way, if I were to strap a healthy mobile adult to a chair and force feed him/her neither of us would be happy jan. Perhaps, it is time we learnt to respect our babies as individuals. Sometimes we do forget that our child is his/her own person since they aren't able to vocalize what they want.
Now, if only I can fully wean P off breastfeeding! It may be the best for him but it truly is taking a toll on me. I need tips!
P has always been an ok eater. When I started him on solids he would lap it all up within 10minutes. Purees were so easy and simply to make, I didn't have to bother about cooking daily and all I had to do was bring down a bottle or two from the freezer.
Now that he is almost 1, feeding him can truly test my patience. There are days where he polishes everything off on his plate and others where he's more interested in throwing out his feeding utensils.
I do however, have realized something. He gobbles down finger food within minutes.
Then I started reading about Baby Led Weaning.
Although I do find it quite scary to give a 6 month old finger foods, I looked back and remember that I did give P some baby biscuits and rusks which he happily lapped up.
Do babies hate being spoon fed that much?
I am torn between allowing him the freedom to explore and eat as he pleases. The mum in me screams what would happen to his "balanced diet", but the other me reckons he will grow to eat on his own and no baby has ever starved itself. The Chinese mum in me believes that he needs his bowl of nutritious double boiled soup daily!
To prevent further stress about P obtaining wholesome food I have now decided that, he eats however much he eats with that bowl of soup of course as long as he sits in his highchair and doesn't watch tv or run around during mealtimes. If he fusses at mealtimes and clamps his mouth shut that would mean the end of mealtime.
Look at it this way, if I were to strap a healthy mobile adult to a chair and force feed him/her neither of us would be happy jan. Perhaps, it is time we learnt to respect our babies as individuals. Sometimes we do forget that our child is his/her own person since they aren't able to vocalize what they want.
Now, if only I can fully wean P off breastfeeding! It may be the best for him but it truly is taking a toll on me. I need tips!
Saturday 30 April 2011
Parenthood Quotes
Got these from Readers Digest May 2011 issue.
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." Jackie Kennedy Onassis
"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up" Phyllis Diller
And my personal favourite,
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you." H. Jackson Brown, Jr
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." Jackie Kennedy Onassis
"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up" Phyllis Diller
And my personal favourite,
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you." H. Jackson Brown, Jr
Thursday 28 April 2011
Ps milestones
I ought to use this space to record Ps milestones since I have a bad habit of keeping a journal.
At 11.5 months he is:-
Approximately 10.5kgs and 75cm.
Has 3 meals a day with snacks in between. (yogurt, fruit, biscuits & bread) Able to eat adult food that has been cut up.
Has 4 teeth upper jaw, 2 lower jaw with another 2 sprouting. They are almost cut since I can see the white lines.
An expert at saying and waving bye to practically everyone!
He waves his hand to indicate no-no.
Can kiss-bye.
Points to nose and mouth when asked.
Gives very big wet slobbery kisses when asked.
His vocabulary includes; bird, duck, papa, mama, ball, apple and bye.
Loves to be read to. Knows how to pick the book he wants and hands them to us.
For the past 2-3 months he has been watching the same Hi-5 DVD!
Tries to self feed but gets frustrated with utensils so uses his hands.
Drinks water from straws and sippy cups.
Avid crawler.
Knows how to climb up the stairs but not down. Partly my fault since I've never taught him how to climb down backwards.
Cruises along furniture.
Yesterday at playgroup took 3 independent steps in the ball pit!
Today at playgroup pushed toddle truck along while walking, without an adult behind him!
Naps been cut down to one big 2-3 hours sleep in the arvo.
Weaning for the past month. Still a battle to accept formula but it's much better now. Let's see where we will be at next month.
Separation anxiety at it's peak!
It amazes me how a little baby is able to learn and grow so quickly within the first year. Just 5 months ago all he did was have milk, sleep and tummy time. Now he's grown into a little man.
At 11.5 months he is:-
Approximately 10.5kgs and 75cm.
Has 3 meals a day with snacks in between. (yogurt, fruit, biscuits & bread) Able to eat adult food that has been cut up.
Has 4 teeth upper jaw, 2 lower jaw with another 2 sprouting. They are almost cut since I can see the white lines.
An expert at saying and waving bye to practically everyone!
He waves his hand to indicate no-no.
Can kiss-bye.
Points to nose and mouth when asked.
Gives very big wet slobbery kisses when asked.
His vocabulary includes; bird, duck, papa, mama, ball, apple and bye.
Loves to be read to. Knows how to pick the book he wants and hands them to us.
For the past 2-3 months he has been watching the same Hi-5 DVD!
Tries to self feed but gets frustrated with utensils so uses his hands.
Drinks water from straws and sippy cups.
Avid crawler.
Knows how to climb up the stairs but not down. Partly my fault since I've never taught him how to climb down backwards.
Cruises along furniture.
Yesterday at playgroup took 3 independent steps in the ball pit!
Today at playgroup pushed toddle truck along while walking, without an adult behind him!
Naps been cut down to one big 2-3 hours sleep in the arvo.
Weaning for the past month. Still a battle to accept formula but it's much better now. Let's see where we will be at next month.
Separation anxiety at it's peak!
It amazes me how a little baby is able to learn and grow so quickly within the first year. Just 5 months ago all he did was have milk, sleep and tummy time. Now he's grown into a little man.
Wednesday 27 April 2011
Nannies & Maids
Every mother at some point in time would need help, either via family, relatives or hired help. Especially in Asia where hired help comes at an affordable rate. My question is, how far into your life would you allow your hired help to help?
I grew up with a Fillipino maid all my life. They (3 within 19 years) were all educated and chose to work abroad mainly for the higher income. After many years, especially the first maid who was with us for 10 years, she became family. I do wonder where she is now. After she left we did keep in touch via the occasional letters but as years passed the communication dwindled down.
Now that I am back living in Asia, having maids isn't a luxury any longer but a necessity. It also does help that labour in Indonesia is fairly cheap.
When I fell pregnant and up until a couple of weeks ago we only agreed to have maids and no nannies. Reason is simple, with maids doing the washing, cooking and cleaning, hiring a nanny would then defeat the purpose of me being a stay at home mum! I didn't want to be a Mum who looked on from afar, I treasure my time with P and strongly believe the first few years of life creates an unbreakable bond. Not to mention that I am in a lucky position where one income is enough (for now that is).
Fast forward to the present and I now have a nanny. We finally have bowed down to familial pressure since having a nanny/suster is a norm within Indonesian families. Not to mention P is now highly mobile and is extremely attached to me. I personally reckon that he has extreme separation anxiety!
Our nanny/suster hasn't given us any problems so far, just a few minor teething issues. She's actually very helpful, initiative, willing to help clean up the house and catches on really quick. If anything, the problem is me! I don't know how to use a nanny! I'm so used to doing everything on my own it's strange to have someone following me around.
Therefore I ask, how much should I let her help? How much can I trust her?
I see my Indonesian friends with their nannies and it somehow is second nature to them.
I do wonder, how long will it take for me to get used to having a nanny. P definitely isn't used to her yet and is still very wary. Although I do hope that having a nanny would help P with his separation anxiety! My new motto should be, while I still have the chance I should just milk all the help I can get before moving back to Sydney!
I grew up with a Fillipino maid all my life. They (3 within 19 years) were all educated and chose to work abroad mainly for the higher income. After many years, especially the first maid who was with us for 10 years, she became family. I do wonder where she is now. After she left we did keep in touch via the occasional letters but as years passed the communication dwindled down.
Now that I am back living in Asia, having maids isn't a luxury any longer but a necessity. It also does help that labour in Indonesia is fairly cheap.
When I fell pregnant and up until a couple of weeks ago we only agreed to have maids and no nannies. Reason is simple, with maids doing the washing, cooking and cleaning, hiring a nanny would then defeat the purpose of me being a stay at home mum! I didn't want to be a Mum who looked on from afar, I treasure my time with P and strongly believe the first few years of life creates an unbreakable bond. Not to mention that I am in a lucky position where one income is enough (for now that is).
Fast forward to the present and I now have a nanny. We finally have bowed down to familial pressure since having a nanny/suster is a norm within Indonesian families. Not to mention P is now highly mobile and is extremely attached to me. I personally reckon that he has extreme separation anxiety!
Our nanny/suster hasn't given us any problems so far, just a few minor teething issues. She's actually very helpful, initiative, willing to help clean up the house and catches on really quick. If anything, the problem is me! I don't know how to use a nanny! I'm so used to doing everything on my own it's strange to have someone following me around.
Therefore I ask, how much should I let her help? How much can I trust her?
I see my Indonesian friends with their nannies and it somehow is second nature to them.
I do wonder, how long will it take for me to get used to having a nanny. P definitely isn't used to her yet and is still very wary. Although I do hope that having a nanny would help P with his separation anxiety! My new motto should be, while I still have the chance I should just milk all the help I can get before moving back to Sydney!
Tuesday 26 April 2011
Of Birthdays & Parties
P is fast approaching 1 and I found myself in a limbo as to how I would celebrate his birthday.
Honestly, I would much prefer the good old fashion house parties. Where mothers cooked and baked cakes for their children. The kids would be running amok high on chocolates, lollies and adrenalin. Us parents would be sitting around enjoying the home cooked fried bihun with curry chicken while yelling out to our kids every so often to share, slow down and/or behave!
I could still do that but unfortunately our home isn't very suitable for kids parties. Imagine a narrow 3 story townhouse, them imagine the kids climbing up the stairs with us parents chasing after!
I am also not very inclined to the Indonesian styled birthday parties where event organizers, decorators, clowns, emcees etc are hired. It just doesn't appeal to our little family, not to mention the crazy amount it would cost us.
Then of course, there's the guest list. Hubby has a huge huge hugeeee family. Relatives from his side would come up to 80!
So, what is the answer? Have not one but two parties!
One organized by us at a play land P frequents. I get to invite his playgroup friends, relatively smallish party, more personal and doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Then the next day we will have the whole Indonesian styled party at my in-laws, which also coincides with my sister in laws birthday. This way everyone is happy!
However, the one thing I am sticking to for the two parties. Absolutely NO GIFTS. Those who attend would be asked for cash donations instead, all proceeds will go to the many many needy children in orphanages and those living in slums of Jakarta. It is the least I can do to help and all the money spent on the parties will generate much needed funds for those less fortunate.
I am hoping that I will be able to do this every year. My little pledge to the society each year my son grows older. In future, I hope that this will in turn teach my son the beauty of sharing and giving to the less fortunate. Especially living in a country such as Indonesia where poverty is rife.
Come next year do nip me in the bum should I forget about this pledge!
Honestly, I would much prefer the good old fashion house parties. Where mothers cooked and baked cakes for their children. The kids would be running amok high on chocolates, lollies and adrenalin. Us parents would be sitting around enjoying the home cooked fried bihun with curry chicken while yelling out to our kids every so often to share, slow down and/or behave!
I could still do that but unfortunately our home isn't very suitable for kids parties. Imagine a narrow 3 story townhouse, them imagine the kids climbing up the stairs with us parents chasing after!
I am also not very inclined to the Indonesian styled birthday parties where event organizers, decorators, clowns, emcees etc are hired. It just doesn't appeal to our little family, not to mention the crazy amount it would cost us.
Then of course, there's the guest list. Hubby has a huge huge hugeeee family. Relatives from his side would come up to 80!
So, what is the answer? Have not one but two parties!
One organized by us at a play land P frequents. I get to invite his playgroup friends, relatively smallish party, more personal and doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Then the next day we will have the whole Indonesian styled party at my in-laws, which also coincides with my sister in laws birthday. This way everyone is happy!
However, the one thing I am sticking to for the two parties. Absolutely NO GIFTS. Those who attend would be asked for cash donations instead, all proceeds will go to the many many needy children in orphanages and those living in slums of Jakarta. It is the least I can do to help and all the money spent on the parties will generate much needed funds for those less fortunate.
I am hoping that I will be able to do this every year. My little pledge to the society each year my son grows older. In future, I hope that this will in turn teach my son the beauty of sharing and giving to the less fortunate. Especially living in a country such as Indonesia where poverty is rife.
Come next year do nip me in the bum should I forget about this pledge!
Monday 28 March 2011
Communication & Play in a Family
What I love about the Internet is the availibility of wonderful articles at your fingertips.
Mum sent me this article from SMH entitled Let Babies Learn in Their Own Good Way.
Being a couch potato society we are all guilty of spending too much time on our iPads, mobile phones, computers and television. It is even easier to prop a crying baby in front of a tv and baby will be mesmerized by the colorful flashes. Gone were the days where families sat around having proper conversations. Most kitchens/dining rooms are now all fitted with a tv. Not to mention every room would have Internet connection where a laptop, pc and tv are all hooked up.
As parents, we have a duty to create communication within the family.
Communication does not only mean bonding but it creates a lifetime of trust, understanding, acceptance, confidence, tolerance and patience. All qualities needed to mould a wholesome individual.
Sparing an hour a day for your child might be all it takes to create a well-balanced and confident person.
Mum sent me this article from SMH entitled Let Babies Learn in Their Own Good Way.
Being a couch potato society we are all guilty of spending too much time on our iPads, mobile phones, computers and television. It is even easier to prop a crying baby in front of a tv and baby will be mesmerized by the colorful flashes. Gone were the days where families sat around having proper conversations. Most kitchens/dining rooms are now all fitted with a tv. Not to mention every room would have Internet connection where a laptop, pc and tv are all hooked up.
As parents, we have a duty to create communication within the family.
Communication does not only mean bonding but it creates a lifetime of trust, understanding, acceptance, confidence, tolerance and patience. All qualities needed to mould a wholesome individual.
Sparing an hour a day for your child might be all it takes to create a well-balanced and confident person.
Saturday 26 March 2011
Infant Sleep Training - Is it necessary?
If you think about it, isn't it rather bizarre to sleep train an infant? Sleep comes naturally to all things living. So, why is it that sleep training came about?
My lil boy has never been sleep trained and only recently has he willingly decided to sleep in the comforts of his own bed. When it happened, I then remembered what it felt like to roll around in my sleep and not have to wakeup with a sore arm or neck the next morning!
I have never been a fan of co-sleeping but it was the only way I could ever get a proper nights sleep and successfully breastfeed P. There were many nights I lay wondering when I would get my "bed independence" back, some people even told me that it would go on for 2 years or more! So imagine my surprise when P decided that he too required his own "bed independence".
Having said that, I am a strong believer that babies will learn in due course. As a modern society we are too caught up with competition and expectations that we forget babies are babies afterall.
Below is an excerpt from the Australian Breastfeeding Association regarding sleep training. An interesting read that prompted this short post.
Why do we never ask 'Is it safe for babies to sleep alone?'
Many parents are encouraged to train their babies to sleep through the night alone; however, current scientific research demonstrates that babies are at greater risk when they sleep alone.
'Science does not support our current culturally based ideas of "normal" infant sleep - where solitary infant sleep without breastfeeding is thought to be normal or desirable. Most families will, and do, respond to infants' individual needs. Training infants to sleep through the night alone, and at an early age, goes against the infant's neurobiology and psychology. Babies need to be close to an adult and to feed frequently', says Dr James McKenna, who is the Edmund P. Joyce C.S.C. Endowed Chair in Anthropology at the University of Notre Dame.
Having pioneered the first physiological studies he is recognised as one of the world's leading authorities on mother-infant co-sleeping, in relationship to breastfeeding and SIDS risk factors. In acknowledgement of his scientific work in the field of SIDS, infant sleep and breastfeeding research he was inducted as a Fellow into the American Association for the Advancement of Science in 2008, an honour accorded a small percentage of America's top scientists.
Dr McKenna goes on to say: 'Sleep training is a recent western innovation completely and unnecessary and comes from a western-industrial view that "normal" healthy infants should sleep throughout the night after 3 or 4 months. The questions is not whether they can, but whether they should, or be forced to. They shouldn't. They need to feed frequently to supply nutrients to a brain trying to grow and expanding at a speed never again to be matched throughout the infants' life. The first year of life is not meant for sleeping alone. At least three epidemiological studies at least show that infants should never sleep outside the company of a supervising, committed adult'.
My lil boy has never been sleep trained and only recently has he willingly decided to sleep in the comforts of his own bed. When it happened, I then remembered what it felt like to roll around in my sleep and not have to wakeup with a sore arm or neck the next morning!
I have never been a fan of co-sleeping but it was the only way I could ever get a proper nights sleep and successfully breastfeed P. There were many nights I lay wondering when I would get my "bed independence" back, some people even told me that it would go on for 2 years or more! So imagine my surprise when P decided that he too required his own "bed independence".
Having said that, I am a strong believer that babies will learn in due course. As a modern society we are too caught up with competition and expectations that we forget babies are babies afterall.
Below is an excerpt from the Australian Breastfeeding Association regarding sleep training. An interesting read that prompted this short post.
Why do we never ask 'Is it safe for babies to sleep alone?'
Many parents are encouraged to train their babies to sleep through the night alone; however, current scientific research demonstrates that babies are at greater risk when they sleep alone.
'Science does not support our current culturally based ideas of "normal" infant sleep - where solitary infant sleep without breastfeeding is thought to be normal or desirable. Most families will, and do, respond to infants' individual needs. Training infants to sleep through the night alone, and at an early age, goes against the infant's neurobiology and psychology. Babies need to be close to an adult and to feed frequently', says Dr James McKenna, who is the Edmund P. Joyce C.S.C. Endowed Chair in Anthropology at the University of Notre Dame.
Having pioneered the first physiological studies he is recognised as one of the world's leading authorities on mother-infant co-sleeping, in relationship to breastfeeding and SIDS risk factors. In acknowledgement of his scientific work in the field of SIDS, infant sleep and breastfeeding research he was inducted as a Fellow into the American Association for the Advancement of Science in 2008, an honour accorded a small percentage of America's top scientists.
Dr McKenna goes on to say: 'Sleep training is a recent western innovation completely and unnecessary and comes from a western-industrial view that "normal" healthy infants should sleep throughout the night after 3 or 4 months. The questions is not whether they can, but whether they should, or be forced to. They shouldn't. They need to feed frequently to supply nutrients to a brain trying to grow and expanding at a speed never again to be matched throughout the infants' life. The first year of life is not meant for sleeping alone. At least three epidemiological studies at least show that infants should never sleep outside the company of a supervising, committed adult'.
Saturday 12 March 2011
Crossroads
Our time in Sydney is drawing to an end. We have thoroughly enjoyed the 1.5months we have been here and P has achieved plenty within this short time. Which, makes me wonder if it is the environment that has allowed him this advantage or is it simply due to his age.
This trip has opened up crossroads for our family. We are happy in Sydney but there's no income here. The environment and education for P in Sydney is a far cry from what we can obtain in Jakarta. How would we weigh the pros and cons?
I do wonder how other families manage situations like these.
Which has led me to the question. Are you a wife or mother first? How do you juggle the two intertwined roles?
Do we separate and evaluate it differently? How do we be great mothers without leaving out the husbands? These roles require meticulous juggling.
Perhaps this is why traditionally the men are the breadwinners and women are homemakers. It maybe a very old fashion view but it worked. There was no boundary to cross and without having to negotiate, argue and be offended things worked, to a certain extent. But in this day and very expensive age, it is not ideal. It is funny how we have come so far in modern technology but traditionalism is still rooted in us.
Is this the reason why people are putting off marriage and divorce statistics growing?
How do we begin to decide when and how we should move back?
Do we place money above our childs' future or do we place our believe that his future will be the saviour & answer to our (hubbys) sacrifice? I am however, leaning towards the later.
This trip has opened up crossroads for our family. We are happy in Sydney but there's no income here. The environment and education for P in Sydney is a far cry from what we can obtain in Jakarta. How would we weigh the pros and cons?
I do wonder how other families manage situations like these.
Which has led me to the question. Are you a wife or mother first? How do you juggle the two intertwined roles?
Do we separate and evaluate it differently? How do we be great mothers without leaving out the husbands? These roles require meticulous juggling.
Perhaps this is why traditionally the men are the breadwinners and women are homemakers. It maybe a very old fashion view but it worked. There was no boundary to cross and without having to negotiate, argue and be offended things worked, to a certain extent. But in this day and very expensive age, it is not ideal. It is funny how we have come so far in modern technology but traditionalism is still rooted in us.
Is this the reason why people are putting off marriage and divorce statistics growing?
How do we begin to decide when and how we should move back?
Do we place money above our childs' future or do we place our believe that his future will be the saviour & answer to our (hubbys) sacrifice? I am however, leaning towards the later.
Wednesday 9 March 2011
The Power of Play - Infants & Toddlers
I do get asked by many friends why I fill Ps days up with activities. Many (mainly Asians) wonder why I even bother and they always retort "He's too young to understand". Well, I am adamant and cast the comments aside because I truly and deeply believe that whatever I am doing for P now is in his best interest. It's pretty tiring organizing activities around a baby, so no it's not that I am a bored SAHM that I do it, it is because I am a SAHM that I have the luxury to research and attend activities with P.
Apologies as I digress, as this blog post is about the power of play.
I am no expert in this matter, I am purely a mother to a busy 9 month old who likes to read up when her baby is asleep. So, please do not take my ramblings as scientific research. I am open to comments and opinions on this matter.
Play, what is it and why is it important?
To understand this, we have to get back to basics. Do you remember your childhood? What were your favourite moments? I am certain that everyones answer to this would consist some form of
play, be it running down the school corridor, hopscotch, skipping rope, learning to ride a
bicycle or even naughtier and more dangerous antics we found ourselves entangled up in.
Now then, where did we learn how to play? Why is it that babies have such a huge array of toys?
We as a society have completely forgotten and taken for granted the basic most crucial and vital part of our humanity. P-L-A-Y!
It is engrained in us. Playing and playfulness leads to much fun and laughter. Why is it then that infants and toddlers aren't given enough play time?
Play in infant stimulates the brain in more ways than one. It helps them learn to share, builds imagination, refine gross motor skills, explore possibilities, problem solving, encourage creativity, gain independence, introduce social skills and so much more.
With so many positives surrounding play, why do parents still keep their children indoors? It is mind boggling! Parents, I encourage and implore you to start bringing your infants out. Create a local playgroup if this doesn't exist in your area. Don't worry about flashcards and other paraphernalia that supposedly catapults your childs intelligence. Without creativity and an independent mind, academic intelligence is naught.
Even us as adults shouldn't forget the importance of play. Everyone needs time out and laughter. Now that you are done reading this post, get off your seat and flex your mind with play!
Apologies as I digress, as this blog post is about the power of play.
I am no expert in this matter, I am purely a mother to a busy 9 month old who likes to read up when her baby is asleep. So, please do not take my ramblings as scientific research. I am open to comments and opinions on this matter.
Play, what is it and why is it important?
To understand this, we have to get back to basics. Do you remember your childhood? What were your favourite moments? I am certain that everyones answer to this would consist some form of
play, be it running down the school corridor, hopscotch, skipping rope, learning to ride a
bicycle or even naughtier and more dangerous antics we found ourselves entangled up in.
Now then, where did we learn how to play? Why is it that babies have such a huge array of toys?
We as a society have completely forgotten and taken for granted the basic most crucial and vital part of our humanity. P-L-A-Y!
It is engrained in us. Playing and playfulness leads to much fun and laughter. Why is it then that infants and toddlers aren't given enough play time?
Play in infant stimulates the brain in more ways than one. It helps them learn to share, builds imagination, refine gross motor skills, explore possibilities, problem solving, encourage creativity, gain independence, introduce social skills and so much more.
With so many positives surrounding play, why do parents still keep their children indoors? It is mind boggling! Parents, I encourage and implore you to start bringing your infants out. Create a local playgroup if this doesn't exist in your area. Don't worry about flashcards and other paraphernalia that supposedly catapults your childs intelligence. Without creativity and an independent mind, academic intelligence is naught.
Even us as adults shouldn't forget the importance of play. Everyone needs time out and laughter. Now that you are done reading this post, get off your seat and flex your mind with play!
Monday 24 January 2011
Infant Swim Lessons - Water Familiarization
P had his first swim lesson over the weekend, very exciting for us parents but not for him! He cried and made it known he was not happy for half the lesson and was clinging on to a toy for dear life. Not allowing me to put it away when I was changing him too!
The next day I decided to bring him swimming again, lo and behold he launched in on his own paddling towards a ball we had thrown in. So, here is my summation of babies and swimming.
1. They learn fast but forget just as quickly.
2. Everyone can swim, we are only hindered by fear.
3. Attitude of accompanying parent in the water is important as he/she is the main support.
4. Talking and singing helps a LOT.
5. Prepare lots of balls, squeaky toys and noodles.(where can I find swim noodles in Jakarta?)
6. Start swim lessons young before 6 months if possible. (not easy when in Jakarta)
7. A heated pool is a luxury.
8. Go swimming once a week at the very least.
9. Throw out those floaties! They restrict movement.
10. Make it fun for both parent and child.
There was a 6 month old who could freely swim on his own and willingly went underwater too. It was simply amazing to watch.
Lets hope that P will be able to do so within the next few months!
The next day I decided to bring him swimming again, lo and behold he launched in on his own paddling towards a ball we had thrown in. So, here is my summation of babies and swimming.
1. They learn fast but forget just as quickly.
2. Everyone can swim, we are only hindered by fear.
3. Attitude of accompanying parent in the water is important as he/she is the main support.
4. Talking and singing helps a LOT.
5. Prepare lots of balls, squeaky toys and noodles.(where can I find swim noodles in Jakarta?)
6. Start swim lessons young before 6 months if possible. (not easy when in Jakarta)
7. A heated pool is a luxury.
8. Go swimming once a week at the very least.
9. Throw out those floaties! They restrict movement.
10. Make it fun for both parent and child.
There was a 6 month old who could freely swim on his own and willingly went underwater too. It was simply amazing to watch.
Lets hope that P will be able to do so within the next few months!
Friday 21 January 2011
The Return to Normalcy
Seems like it has been ages since we got back from our year end trip but it has only been a mere 2 weeks! I truly need a break from Jakarta again, but for now playgroups have been keeping me sane.
I can possibly say this a million times but our playgroup routine is definitely a life saver. Meeting other mothers and children, chatting over coffee and cake is a rather relaxing and educational experience for us both. Strangely enough P is very much well behaved whenever we are at playgroups; no screaming fits, no unneccesary crying, no fussiness and when we get home he takes a 2-3 hours nap which is a dream!
Now that I have become much more familiar with the playgroup mums, I have organized for more playgroup sessions and activities with them. Lil P has a bursting activities calendar. 3 days a week at different playgroups, once a week at Kindyroo, once a week swimming (more like water familiarization) and we are now organizing Kindermusik too. His activities pretty much takes up the entire week which means my worry of being confined to malls is gone!
Win-win situation since P enjoys himself immensely at these activities and Mummy gets to have grown up conversations too.
Ah....the life of a so-called expat SAHM.
I can possibly say this a million times but our playgroup routine is definitely a life saver. Meeting other mothers and children, chatting over coffee and cake is a rather relaxing and educational experience for us both. Strangely enough P is very much well behaved whenever we are at playgroups; no screaming fits, no unneccesary crying, no fussiness and when we get home he takes a 2-3 hours nap which is a dream!
Now that I have become much more familiar with the playgroup mums, I have organized for more playgroup sessions and activities with them. Lil P has a bursting activities calendar. 3 days a week at different playgroups, once a week at Kindyroo, once a week swimming (more like water familiarization) and we are now organizing Kindermusik too. His activities pretty much takes up the entire week which means my worry of being confined to malls is gone!
Win-win situation since P enjoys himself immensely at these activities and Mummy gets to have grown up conversations too.
Ah....the life of a so-called expat SAHM.
Friday 7 January 2011
Autism-Vaccine Researcher a Fraud
Came upon this article while looking through tweets. Now all Mothers should rest assure that the MMR vaccine is perfectly FINE!
(Reuters) - Dr. Andrew Wakefield, the-now disgraced British doctor who published studies linking vaccines with autism, committed an "elaborate fraud" by faking data, the British Medical Journal said on Wednesday.
The journal's editors said it was not possible that Wakefield made a mistake but must have falsified the data for his study, which convinced thousands of parents that vaccines are dangerous and which is blamed for ongoing outbreaks of measles and mumps.
The journal, commonly nicknamed the BMJ, supported its position with a series of articles by a journalist who used medical records and interviews to show that Wakefield falsified data.
For instance, the reports found that Wakefield, who included data from only 12 children in his report, studied at least 13 and that several showed symptoms of autism before having been vaccinated.
Fears that vaccines might cause autism have not only caused parents to skip vaccinating their children, but have forced costly reformulations of many vaccines.
"Who perpetrated this fraud? There is no doubt that it was Wakefield," BMJ editor Dr. Fiona Godlee and colleagues wrote in a commentary, available online here
In 1998, The Lancet medical journal, a rival to the BMJ, published a study by Wakefield and colleagues linking the combined measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine with autism.
The other researchers later withdrew their names from the study and The Lancet formally retracted the paper in February.
DENIAL
Wakefield denied the allegations.
"The study is not a lie. The findings that we have made have been replicated in five countries around the world," Wakefield told CNN television on Wednesday.
A disciplinary panel of Britain's General Medical Council said last February that Wakefield had presented his research in an "irresponsible and dishonest" way and had brought the medical profession into disrepute.
Godlee and colleagues said the work "was based not on bad science but on a deliberate fraud".
"Clear evidence of falsification of data should now close the door on this damaging vaccine scare," they added.
Many experts have tried to show that vaccines might cause autism. Newer suspicions have focused on thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative once used in many vaccines and since removed from childhood vaccines.
Measles is one of the most contagious viruses known, infecting 10 million people a year and killing 164,000, according to the World Health Organization.
Vaccination has reduced the number of measles deaths by 78 percent, WHO says. But refusal by some parents to get children vaccinated has helped fuel a resurgence in Britain.
In a 2007 U.S. outbreak, 127 people became ill and nearly half were children who had not been vaccinated because their parents objected, the CDC said. In 2009, an outbreak in Wales sickened more than 200 people
(Reporting by Maggie Fox, editing by Philip Barbara)
Source - Reuters
Thursday 6 January 2011
Of Resolutions and the Future
A very Happy New Year to everyone.
Now that we are coming to the end of the first week of 2011, realities of the new year would be setting in and everyone getting back into usual routines.
We came back from holidays a couple of days ago. It was good to be out of Jakarta but we were rained on both in Bali and Singapore. Not to mention the ridiculous crowd in Singapore. It was a feat in itself maneuvering around the sea of people at the lobby of Marina Bay Sands hotel and along Orchard. The queues for shopping, food and taxis were a test to our patience and lil P. Note to self, never visit Bali during monsoon season and never Singapore during festive season!
I'm generally one of those who reflect on the past year and use it as a base to write up resolutions. However, this year I have yet to come up with any or even look back on 2010. Which got me thinking how a small little person can cause a huge shift in our lives. Instead of wondering if I fared well in 2010 and listing out resolutions I find myself looking much further into the future. Among the questions that have been swirling around my head are.
- Will P grow up in Jakarta?
- How long will we live in Jakarta and when will we move back to Sydney?
- How will Jakarta's culture affect Ps upbringing?
- How Indonesian will I allow P to be?
- When will I be able to go back to work?
- Are we ready for a second child?
Although I do not mind living in Jakarta, this city sorely lacks outdoors activities, parks, playgrounds, clean air and even clean water. I yearn for P to grow up rolling on the grass, having picnics, exploring the great outdoors, going for walks and learning various sports instead of being a confined to indoor playgrounds or visiting malls day in day out.
Growing up in Kuala Lumpur, I was blessed to have a maid majority of my life only because both parents were working and they needed someone at home with us. However, my parents did a great job in making sure we knew our place. A task and feat I would need to go through now that we have ample help in Jakarta where the average household has not 1 but 2 maids.
Although I do not have a nanny, we do have 2 wonderful maids at home and I do not want P growing up thinking he can just leave the dining table without clearing his plates, make a mess while playing and not pack up, most of all I do not want him to not be able to say please and thank you. I have seen too many children who run amok at malls, be rude to their nannies, not know how to respect others and I shudder to think P may grow up to be like them.
I remember when I was little, Dad used to tell me about the "Unsung Heroes" such as the street cleaners, the garbage collectors. Honestly, I never did give it much thought till Dad pointed it out and I have carried that lesson right up to adulthood.
Will I be able to instill values and mannerisms into P that isn't influenced by the cultures of Jakarta? Perhaps my resolution for 2011 would be to decipher my childhood and remember lessons taught by my parents so that I will be able to pass it on to P. Cause hey, it's tried and tested and I believe I have grown up to be a decent human being! (I have haven't I? hehe....)
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