Monday 28 March 2011

Communication & Play in a Family

What I love about the Internet is the availibility of wonderful articles at your fingertips.

Mum sent me this article from SMH entitled Let Babies Learn in Their Own Good Way.

Being a couch potato society we are all guilty of spending too much time on our iPads, mobile phones, computers and television. It is even easier to prop a crying baby in front of a tv and baby will be mesmerized by the colorful flashes. Gone were the days where families sat around having proper conversations. Most kitchens/dining rooms are now all fitted with a tv. Not to mention every room would have Internet connection where a laptop, pc and tv are all hooked up.

As parents, we have a duty to create communication within the family.

Communication does not only mean bonding but it creates a lifetime of trust, understanding, acceptance, confidence, tolerance and patience. All qualities needed to mould a wholesome individual.

Sparing an hour a day for your child might be all it takes to create a well-balanced and confident person.

Saturday 26 March 2011

Infant Sleep Training - Is it necessary?

If you think about it, isn't it rather bizarre to sleep train an infant? Sleep comes naturally to all things living. So, why is it that sleep training came about?

My lil boy has never been sleep trained and only recently has he willingly decided to sleep in the comforts of his own bed. When it happened, I then remembered what it felt like to roll around in my sleep and not have to wakeup with a sore arm or neck the next morning!

I have never been a fan of co-sleeping but it was the only way I could ever get a proper nights sleep and successfully breastfeed P. There were many nights I lay wondering when I would get my "bed independence" back, some people even told me that it would go on for 2 years or more! So imagine my surprise when P decided that he too required his own "bed independence".

Having said that, I am a strong believer that babies will learn in due course. As a modern society we are too caught up with competition and expectations that we forget babies are babies afterall.

Below is an excerpt from the Australian Breastfeeding Association regarding sleep training. An interesting read that prompted this short post.

Why do we never ask 'Is it safe for babies to sleep alone?'

Many parents are encouraged to train their babies to sleep through the night alone; however, current scientific research demonstrates that babies are at greater risk when they sleep alone.
 
'Science does not support our current culturally based ideas of "normal" infant sleep - where solitary infant sleep without breastfeeding is thought to be normal or desirable. Most families will, and do, respond to infants' individual needs. Training infants to sleep through the night alone, and at an early age, goes against the infant's neurobiology and psychology. Babies need to be close to an adult and to feed frequently', says Dr James McKenna, who is the Edmund P. Joyce C.S.C. Endowed Chair in Anthropology at the University of Notre Dame.
 
Having pioneered the first physiological studies he is recognised as one of the world's leading authorities on mother-infant co-sleeping, in relationship to breastfeeding and SIDS risk factors. In acknowledgement of his scientific work in the field of SIDS, infant sleep and breastfeeding research he was inducted as a Fellow into the American Association for the Advancement of Science in 2008, an honour accorded a small percentage of America's top scientists.
 
Dr McKenna goes on to say: 'Sleep training is a recent western innovation completely and unnecessary and comes from a western-industrial view that "normal" healthy infants should sleep throughout the night after 3 or 4 months. The questions is not whether they can, but whether they should, or be forced to. They shouldn't. They need to feed frequently to supply nutrients to a brain trying to grow and expanding at a speed never again to be matched throughout the infants' life. The first year of life is not meant for sleeping alone. At least three epidemiological studies at least show that infants should never sleep outside the company of a supervising, committed adult'.

Saturday 12 March 2011

Crossroads

Our time in Sydney is drawing to an end. We have thoroughly enjoyed the 1.5months we have been here and P has achieved plenty within this short time. Which, makes me wonder if it is the environment that has allowed him this advantage or is it simply due to his age.

This trip has opened up crossroads for our family. We are happy in Sydney but there's no income here. The environment and education for P in Sydney is a far cry from what we can obtain in Jakarta. How would we weigh the pros and cons?

I do wonder how other families manage situations like these.

Which has led me to the question. Are you a wife or mother first? How do you juggle the two intertwined roles?

Do we separate and evaluate it differently? How do we be great mothers without leaving out the husbands? These roles require meticulous juggling.

Perhaps this is why traditionally the men are the breadwinners and women are homemakers. It maybe a very old fashion view but it worked. There was no boundary to cross and without having to negotiate, argue and be offended things worked, to a certain extent. But in this day and very expensive age, it is not ideal. It is funny how we have come so far in modern technology but traditionalism is still rooted in us.

Is this the reason why people are putting off marriage and divorce statistics growing?

How do we begin to decide when and how we should move back?

Do we place money above our childs' future or do we place our believe that his future will be the saviour & answer to our (hubbys) sacrifice? I am however, leaning towards the later.

Wednesday 9 March 2011

The Power of Play - Infants & Toddlers

I do get asked by many friends why I fill Ps days up with activities. Many (mainly Asians) wonder why I even bother and they always retort "He's too young to understand". Well, I am adamant and cast the comments aside because I truly and deeply believe that whatever I am doing for P now is in his best interest. It's pretty tiring organizing activities around a baby, so no it's not that I am a bored SAHM that I do it, it is because I am a SAHM that I have the luxury to research and attend activities with P.

Apologies as I digress, as this blog post is about the power of play.

I am no expert in this matter, I am purely a mother to a busy 9 month old who likes to read up when her baby is asleep. So, please do not take my ramblings as scientific research. I am open to comments and opinions on this matter.

Play, what is it and why is it important?

To understand this, we have to get back to basics. Do you remember your childhood? What were your favourite moments? I am certain that everyones answer to this would consist some form of
play, be it running down the school corridor, hopscotch, skipping rope, learning to ride a
bicycle or even naughtier and more dangerous antics we found ourselves entangled up in.

Now then, where did we learn how to play? Why is it that babies have such a huge array of toys?

We as a society have completely forgotten and taken for granted the basic most crucial and vital part of our humanity. P-L-A-Y!

It is engrained in us. Playing and playfulness leads to much fun and laughter. Why is it then that infants and toddlers aren't given enough play time?

Play in infant stimulates the brain in more ways than one. It helps them learn to share, builds imagination, refine gross motor skills, explore possibilities, problem solving, encourage creativity, gain independence, introduce social skills and so much more.

With so many positives surrounding play, why do parents still keep their children indoors? It is mind boggling! Parents, I encourage and implore you to start bringing your infants out. Create a local playgroup if this doesn't exist in your area. Don't worry about flashcards and other paraphernalia that supposedly catapults your childs intelligence. Without creativity and an independent mind, academic intelligence is naught.

Even us as adults shouldn't forget the importance of play. Everyone needs time out and laughter. Now that you are done reading this post, get off your seat and flex your mind with play!