I was laying in bed one lazy Sunday afternoon and I thought about Ps life. Simple things like what would he look like as he grew older, would he be a noble, honest, strong and determined man, if he would ever remember how attached he was to me as a baby. And then I realized that P is in a rather unique situation. I look at his friends who are of various nationalities and of mixed races. The next generation is so global, so mixed and mashed that the lines of nationalities and races are no longer an issue.
Take P for example. In essence he is a Chinese Australian/Indonesian but he has a Malaysian born Australian mother married to an Indonesian living in Jakarta. Pretty complicated right? Then I look to his playgroup friends and they are a huge concoction of mixed Caucasian with South American, Japanese, Indonesian, Indian, Thai, and plenty more. Majority of them are typical nomadic expatriate families who love travelling and being stationed in various countries.
How do these children grow up I wonder? Where would they call home?
As for P, how Chinese or Australian or Indonesian will he be?
Then I look at my own life. Brought up in an English speaking household where neither parent or my brother can read or write Mandarin. The only thing Chinese we may have in our daily lives would be eating rice and drinking soup for dinner. Aren't we all a confused bunch calling ourselves Chinese with nothing much to show for besides our skin colour.
Perhaps the main question of being so global is where would we call home?
How do we define home? Would home be a house that has fond memories? A city where majority of our lives were spent? Where our family reside? A place where we have decided to start a family? Or simply somewhere we find ourselves most happy at?
I still call Sydney home simply because it is where I am most comfortable and of course where my family are. Jakarta, is a semi-home of sorts, struggling with the love-hate relationship this city offers.
I do wonder how and where P will wind up. Will he be confused? Or would he seize the opportunities set before him and utilize it fully given his unique situation.
But above all, I pray and hope that he finds home in us, his family.
Monday, 6 June 2011
Tuesday, 3 May 2011
Trials & Tribulations of Feeding a Baby
Anyone who has a baby will identify with feeding time. It can be the most joyous, painful, patience testing, jubilant and frustrating time all in one.
P has always been an ok eater. When I started him on solids he would lap it all up within 10minutes. Purees were so easy and simply to make, I didn't have to bother about cooking daily and all I had to do was bring down a bottle or two from the freezer.
Now that he is almost 1, feeding him can truly test my patience. There are days where he polishes everything off on his plate and others where he's more interested in throwing out his feeding utensils.
I do however, have realized something. He gobbles down finger food within minutes.
Then I started reading about Baby Led Weaning.
Although I do find it quite scary to give a 6 month old finger foods, I looked back and remember that I did give P some baby biscuits and rusks which he happily lapped up.
Do babies hate being spoon fed that much?
I am torn between allowing him the freedom to explore and eat as he pleases. The mum in me screams what would happen to his "balanced diet", but the other me reckons he will grow to eat on his own and no baby has ever starved itself. The Chinese mum in me believes that he needs his bowl of nutritious double boiled soup daily!
To prevent further stress about P obtaining wholesome food I have now decided that, he eats however much he eats with that bowl of soup of course as long as he sits in his highchair and doesn't watch tv or run around during mealtimes. If he fusses at mealtimes and clamps his mouth shut that would mean the end of mealtime.
Look at it this way, if I were to strap a healthy mobile adult to a chair and force feed him/her neither of us would be happy jan. Perhaps, it is time we learnt to respect our babies as individuals. Sometimes we do forget that our child is his/her own person since they aren't able to vocalize what they want.
Now, if only I can fully wean P off breastfeeding! It may be the best for him but it truly is taking a toll on me. I need tips!
P has always been an ok eater. When I started him on solids he would lap it all up within 10minutes. Purees were so easy and simply to make, I didn't have to bother about cooking daily and all I had to do was bring down a bottle or two from the freezer.
Now that he is almost 1, feeding him can truly test my patience. There are days where he polishes everything off on his plate and others where he's more interested in throwing out his feeding utensils.
I do however, have realized something. He gobbles down finger food within minutes.
Then I started reading about Baby Led Weaning.
Although I do find it quite scary to give a 6 month old finger foods, I looked back and remember that I did give P some baby biscuits and rusks which he happily lapped up.
Do babies hate being spoon fed that much?
I am torn between allowing him the freedom to explore and eat as he pleases. The mum in me screams what would happen to his "balanced diet", but the other me reckons he will grow to eat on his own and no baby has ever starved itself. The Chinese mum in me believes that he needs his bowl of nutritious double boiled soup daily!
To prevent further stress about P obtaining wholesome food I have now decided that, he eats however much he eats with that bowl of soup of course as long as he sits in his highchair and doesn't watch tv or run around during mealtimes. If he fusses at mealtimes and clamps his mouth shut that would mean the end of mealtime.
Look at it this way, if I were to strap a healthy mobile adult to a chair and force feed him/her neither of us would be happy jan. Perhaps, it is time we learnt to respect our babies as individuals. Sometimes we do forget that our child is his/her own person since they aren't able to vocalize what they want.
Now, if only I can fully wean P off breastfeeding! It may be the best for him but it truly is taking a toll on me. I need tips!
Saturday, 30 April 2011
Parenthood Quotes
Got these from Readers Digest May 2011 issue.
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." Jackie Kennedy Onassis
"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up" Phyllis Diller
And my personal favourite,
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you." H. Jackson Brown, Jr
"If you bungle raising your children, I don't think whatever else you do matters very much." Jackie Kennedy Onassis
"We spend the first 12 months of our children's lives teaching them to walk and talk, and the next 12 years telling them to sit down and shut up" Phyllis Diller
And my personal favourite,
"Live so that when your children think of fairness and integrity, they think of you." H. Jackson Brown, Jr
Thursday, 28 April 2011
Ps milestones
I ought to use this space to record Ps milestones since I have a bad habit of keeping a journal.
At 11.5 months he is:-
Approximately 10.5kgs and 75cm.
Has 3 meals a day with snacks in between. (yogurt, fruit, biscuits & bread) Able to eat adult food that has been cut up.
Has 4 teeth upper jaw, 2 lower jaw with another 2 sprouting. They are almost cut since I can see the white lines.
An expert at saying and waving bye to practically everyone!
He waves his hand to indicate no-no.
Can kiss-bye.
Points to nose and mouth when asked.
Gives very big wet slobbery kisses when asked.
His vocabulary includes; bird, duck, papa, mama, ball, apple and bye.
Loves to be read to. Knows how to pick the book he wants and hands them to us.
For the past 2-3 months he has been watching the same Hi-5 DVD!
Tries to self feed but gets frustrated with utensils so uses his hands.
Drinks water from straws and sippy cups.
Avid crawler.
Knows how to climb up the stairs but not down. Partly my fault since I've never taught him how to climb down backwards.
Cruises along furniture.
Yesterday at playgroup took 3 independent steps in the ball pit!
Today at playgroup pushed toddle truck along while walking, without an adult behind him!
Naps been cut down to one big 2-3 hours sleep in the arvo.
Weaning for the past month. Still a battle to accept formula but it's much better now. Let's see where we will be at next month.
Separation anxiety at it's peak!
It amazes me how a little baby is able to learn and grow so quickly within the first year. Just 5 months ago all he did was have milk, sleep and tummy time. Now he's grown into a little man.
At 11.5 months he is:-
Approximately 10.5kgs and 75cm.
Has 3 meals a day with snacks in between. (yogurt, fruit, biscuits & bread) Able to eat adult food that has been cut up.
Has 4 teeth upper jaw, 2 lower jaw with another 2 sprouting. They are almost cut since I can see the white lines.
An expert at saying and waving bye to practically everyone!
He waves his hand to indicate no-no.
Can kiss-bye.
Points to nose and mouth when asked.
Gives very big wet slobbery kisses when asked.
His vocabulary includes; bird, duck, papa, mama, ball, apple and bye.
Loves to be read to. Knows how to pick the book he wants and hands them to us.
For the past 2-3 months he has been watching the same Hi-5 DVD!
Tries to self feed but gets frustrated with utensils so uses his hands.
Drinks water from straws and sippy cups.
Avid crawler.
Knows how to climb up the stairs but not down. Partly my fault since I've never taught him how to climb down backwards.
Cruises along furniture.
Yesterday at playgroup took 3 independent steps in the ball pit!
Today at playgroup pushed toddle truck along while walking, without an adult behind him!
Naps been cut down to one big 2-3 hours sleep in the arvo.
Weaning for the past month. Still a battle to accept formula but it's much better now. Let's see where we will be at next month.
Separation anxiety at it's peak!
It amazes me how a little baby is able to learn and grow so quickly within the first year. Just 5 months ago all he did was have milk, sleep and tummy time. Now he's grown into a little man.
Wednesday, 27 April 2011
Nannies & Maids
Every mother at some point in time would need help, either via family, relatives or hired help. Especially in Asia where hired help comes at an affordable rate. My question is, how far into your life would you allow your hired help to help?
I grew up with a Fillipino maid all my life. They (3 within 19 years) were all educated and chose to work abroad mainly for the higher income. After many years, especially the first maid who was with us for 10 years, she became family. I do wonder where she is now. After she left we did keep in touch via the occasional letters but as years passed the communication dwindled down.
Now that I am back living in Asia, having maids isn't a luxury any longer but a necessity. It also does help that labour in Indonesia is fairly cheap.
When I fell pregnant and up until a couple of weeks ago we only agreed to have maids and no nannies. Reason is simple, with maids doing the washing, cooking and cleaning, hiring a nanny would then defeat the purpose of me being a stay at home mum! I didn't want to be a Mum who looked on from afar, I treasure my time with P and strongly believe the first few years of life creates an unbreakable bond. Not to mention that I am in a lucky position where one income is enough (for now that is).
Fast forward to the present and I now have a nanny. We finally have bowed down to familial pressure since having a nanny/suster is a norm within Indonesian families. Not to mention P is now highly mobile and is extremely attached to me. I personally reckon that he has extreme separation anxiety!
Our nanny/suster hasn't given us any problems so far, just a few minor teething issues. She's actually very helpful, initiative, willing to help clean up the house and catches on really quick. If anything, the problem is me! I don't know how to use a nanny! I'm so used to doing everything on my own it's strange to have someone following me around.
Therefore I ask, how much should I let her help? How much can I trust her?
I see my Indonesian friends with their nannies and it somehow is second nature to them.
I do wonder, how long will it take for me to get used to having a nanny. P definitely isn't used to her yet and is still very wary. Although I do hope that having a nanny would help P with his separation anxiety! My new motto should be, while I still have the chance I should just milk all the help I can get before moving back to Sydney!
I grew up with a Fillipino maid all my life. They (3 within 19 years) were all educated and chose to work abroad mainly for the higher income. After many years, especially the first maid who was with us for 10 years, she became family. I do wonder where she is now. After she left we did keep in touch via the occasional letters but as years passed the communication dwindled down.
Now that I am back living in Asia, having maids isn't a luxury any longer but a necessity. It also does help that labour in Indonesia is fairly cheap.
When I fell pregnant and up until a couple of weeks ago we only agreed to have maids and no nannies. Reason is simple, with maids doing the washing, cooking and cleaning, hiring a nanny would then defeat the purpose of me being a stay at home mum! I didn't want to be a Mum who looked on from afar, I treasure my time with P and strongly believe the first few years of life creates an unbreakable bond. Not to mention that I am in a lucky position where one income is enough (for now that is).
Fast forward to the present and I now have a nanny. We finally have bowed down to familial pressure since having a nanny/suster is a norm within Indonesian families. Not to mention P is now highly mobile and is extremely attached to me. I personally reckon that he has extreme separation anxiety!
Our nanny/suster hasn't given us any problems so far, just a few minor teething issues. She's actually very helpful, initiative, willing to help clean up the house and catches on really quick. If anything, the problem is me! I don't know how to use a nanny! I'm so used to doing everything on my own it's strange to have someone following me around.
Therefore I ask, how much should I let her help? How much can I trust her?
I see my Indonesian friends with their nannies and it somehow is second nature to them.
I do wonder, how long will it take for me to get used to having a nanny. P definitely isn't used to her yet and is still very wary. Although I do hope that having a nanny would help P with his separation anxiety! My new motto should be, while I still have the chance I should just milk all the help I can get before moving back to Sydney!
Tuesday, 26 April 2011
Of Birthdays & Parties
P is fast approaching 1 and I found myself in a limbo as to how I would celebrate his birthday.
Honestly, I would much prefer the good old fashion house parties. Where mothers cooked and baked cakes for their children. The kids would be running amok high on chocolates, lollies and adrenalin. Us parents would be sitting around enjoying the home cooked fried bihun with curry chicken while yelling out to our kids every so often to share, slow down and/or behave!
I could still do that but unfortunately our home isn't very suitable for kids parties. Imagine a narrow 3 story townhouse, them imagine the kids climbing up the stairs with us parents chasing after!
I am also not very inclined to the Indonesian styled birthday parties where event organizers, decorators, clowns, emcees etc are hired. It just doesn't appeal to our little family, not to mention the crazy amount it would cost us.
Then of course, there's the guest list. Hubby has a huge huge hugeeee family. Relatives from his side would come up to 80!
So, what is the answer? Have not one but two parties!
One organized by us at a play land P frequents. I get to invite his playgroup friends, relatively smallish party, more personal and doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Then the next day we will have the whole Indonesian styled party at my in-laws, which also coincides with my sister in laws birthday. This way everyone is happy!
However, the one thing I am sticking to for the two parties. Absolutely NO GIFTS. Those who attend would be asked for cash donations instead, all proceeds will go to the many many needy children in orphanages and those living in slums of Jakarta. It is the least I can do to help and all the money spent on the parties will generate much needed funds for those less fortunate.
I am hoping that I will be able to do this every year. My little pledge to the society each year my son grows older. In future, I hope that this will in turn teach my son the beauty of sharing and giving to the less fortunate. Especially living in a country such as Indonesia where poverty is rife.
Come next year do nip me in the bum should I forget about this pledge!
Honestly, I would much prefer the good old fashion house parties. Where mothers cooked and baked cakes for their children. The kids would be running amok high on chocolates, lollies and adrenalin. Us parents would be sitting around enjoying the home cooked fried bihun with curry chicken while yelling out to our kids every so often to share, slow down and/or behave!
I could still do that but unfortunately our home isn't very suitable for kids parties. Imagine a narrow 3 story townhouse, them imagine the kids climbing up the stairs with us parents chasing after!
I am also not very inclined to the Indonesian styled birthday parties where event organizers, decorators, clowns, emcees etc are hired. It just doesn't appeal to our little family, not to mention the crazy amount it would cost us.
Then of course, there's the guest list. Hubby has a huge huge hugeeee family. Relatives from his side would come up to 80!
So, what is the answer? Have not one but two parties!
One organized by us at a play land P frequents. I get to invite his playgroup friends, relatively smallish party, more personal and doesn't cost an arm and a leg.
Then the next day we will have the whole Indonesian styled party at my in-laws, which also coincides with my sister in laws birthday. This way everyone is happy!
However, the one thing I am sticking to for the two parties. Absolutely NO GIFTS. Those who attend would be asked for cash donations instead, all proceeds will go to the many many needy children in orphanages and those living in slums of Jakarta. It is the least I can do to help and all the money spent on the parties will generate much needed funds for those less fortunate.
I am hoping that I will be able to do this every year. My little pledge to the society each year my son grows older. In future, I hope that this will in turn teach my son the beauty of sharing and giving to the less fortunate. Especially living in a country such as Indonesia where poverty is rife.
Come next year do nip me in the bum should I forget about this pledge!
Monday, 28 March 2011
Communication & Play in a Family
What I love about the Internet is the availibility of wonderful articles at your fingertips.
Mum sent me this article from SMH entitled Let Babies Learn in Their Own Good Way.
Being a couch potato society we are all guilty of spending too much time on our iPads, mobile phones, computers and television. It is even easier to prop a crying baby in front of a tv and baby will be mesmerized by the colorful flashes. Gone were the days where families sat around having proper conversations. Most kitchens/dining rooms are now all fitted with a tv. Not to mention every room would have Internet connection where a laptop, pc and tv are all hooked up.
As parents, we have a duty to create communication within the family.
Communication does not only mean bonding but it creates a lifetime of trust, understanding, acceptance, confidence, tolerance and patience. All qualities needed to mould a wholesome individual.
Sparing an hour a day for your child might be all it takes to create a well-balanced and confident person.
Mum sent me this article from SMH entitled Let Babies Learn in Their Own Good Way.
Being a couch potato society we are all guilty of spending too much time on our iPads, mobile phones, computers and television. It is even easier to prop a crying baby in front of a tv and baby will be mesmerized by the colorful flashes. Gone were the days where families sat around having proper conversations. Most kitchens/dining rooms are now all fitted with a tv. Not to mention every room would have Internet connection where a laptop, pc and tv are all hooked up.
As parents, we have a duty to create communication within the family.
Communication does not only mean bonding but it creates a lifetime of trust, understanding, acceptance, confidence, tolerance and patience. All qualities needed to mould a wholesome individual.
Sparing an hour a day for your child might be all it takes to create a well-balanced and confident person.
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