Nannies & Maids

Every mother at some point in time would need help, either via family, relatives or hired help. Especially in Asia where hired help comes at an affordable rate. My question is, how far into your life would you allow your hired help to help?

I grew up with a Fillipino maid all my life. They (3 within 19 years) were all educated and chose to work abroad mainly for the higher income. After many years, especially the first maid who was with us for 10 years, she became family. I do wonder where she is now. After she left we did keep in touch via the occasional letters but as years passed the communication dwindled down.

Now that I am back living in Asia, having maids isn't a luxury any longer but a necessity. It also does help that labour in Indonesia is fairly cheap.

When I fell pregnant and up until a couple of weeks ago we only agreed to have maids and no nannies. Reason is simple, with maids doing the washing, cooking and cleaning, hiring a nanny would then defeat the purpose of me being a stay at home mum! I didn't want to be a Mum who looked on from afar, I treasure my time with P and strongly believe the first few years of life creates an unbreakable bond. Not to mention that I am in a lucky position where one income is enough (for now that is).

Fast forward to the present and I now have a nanny. We finally have bowed down to familial pressure since having a nanny/suster is a norm within Indonesian families. Not to mention P is now highly mobile and is extremely attached to me. I personally reckon that he has extreme separation anxiety!

Our nanny/suster hasn't given us any problems so far, just a few minor teething issues. She's actually very helpful, initiative, willing to help clean up the house and catches on really quick. If anything, the problem is me! I don't know how to use a nanny! I'm so used to doing everything on my own it's strange to have someone following me around.

Therefore I ask, how much should I let her help? How much can I trust her?

I see my Indonesian friends with their nannies and it somehow is second nature to them.

I do wonder, how long will it take for me to get used to having a nanny. P definitely isn't used to her yet and is still very wary. Although I do hope that having a nanny would help P with his separation anxiety! My new motto should be, while I still have the chance I should just milk all the help I can get before moving back to Sydney!

Of Birthdays & Parties

P is fast approaching 1 and I found myself in a limbo as to how I would celebrate his birthday.

Honestly, I would much prefer the good old fashion house parties. Where mothers cooked and baked cakes for their children. The kids would be running amok high on chocolates, lollies and adrenalin. Us parents would be sitting around enjoying the home cooked fried bihun with curry chicken while yelling out to our kids every so often to share, slow down and/or behave!

I could still do that but unfortunately our home isn't very suitable for kids parties. Imagine a narrow 3 story townhouse, them imagine the kids climbing up the stairs with us parents chasing after!

I am also not very inclined to the Indonesian styled birthday parties where event organizers, decorators, clowns, emcees etc are hired. It just doesn't appeal to our little family, not to mention the crazy amount it would cost us.

Then of course, there's the guest list. Hubby has a huge huge hugeeee family. Relatives from his side would come up to 80!

So, what is the answer? Have not one but two parties!

One organized by us at a play land P frequents. I get to invite his playgroup friends, relatively smallish party, more personal and doesn't cost an arm and a leg.

Then the next day we will have the whole Indonesian styled party at my in-laws, which also coincides with my sister in laws birthday. This way everyone is happy!

However, the one thing I am sticking to for the two parties. Absolutely NO GIFTS. Those who attend would be asked for cash donations instead, all proceeds will go to the many many needy children in orphanages and those living in slums of Jakarta. It is the least I can do to help and all the money spent on the parties will generate much needed funds for those less fortunate.

I am hoping that I will be able to do this every year. My little pledge to the society each year my son grows older. In future, I hope that this will in turn teach my son the beauty of sharing and giving to the less fortunate. Especially living in a country such as Indonesia where poverty is rife.

Come next year do nip me in the bum should I forget about this pledge!

Breastfeeding Awareness

I was very fortunate that I was able to deliver P back in Sydney. The facilities such as prenatal exercise with a physiotherapist, aquanatal, breastfeeding support and a huge team of pro-breastfeeding midwives (just to name a few) truly prepared me for life with a baby. 

Which is why, now that I am in Jakarta and I listen to so many stories of mums struggling to breastfeed, it irks me. Those who know me would know that I am very pro-breastfeeding and am thankful to have received the education I did.

Many new mums have told me they resorted to infant formula because of low milk supply or the nurses told them that their newborn (under 3 days old) was hungry and needed formula. Thus begins the vicious cycle of poor latching, slow let down and lack of milk supply. These new mums do not realize that only 2-5% of breastfeeding mothers have low quality or low milk supply. 

It is very frustrating when the mother is keen on breastfeeding yet isn't provided the moral support and education vitally needed during the first few days in the hospital. I'm not sure about other cities in Indonesia but I do know that not all hospitals in Jakarta allow rooming with your newborn. How then ,would mother and baby establish a breastfeeding routine? Not to mention bonding!

To all soon-to-be mummies who intend to breastfeed. EDUCATION is KEY! Knowledge, moral support, determination and  patience are vital in successful breastfeeding. Also remember ,that you should never judge your milk production with others as no two babies are alike. Just like how we adults have varying appetites. 

Perhaps Indonesia needs to begin a breastfeeding awareness campaign of sorts and have them instilled within all hospitals. I will not go on about the superiority of breastmilk, the abundant benefits the child gets nutritionally and how latching in itself is a positive stimulation as that would be a whole other long winded entry.

A midwife once told me, bearing in mind most infant formulas are made from cows milk.

"Compare a human brain and a cows brain. Now, would you still feed formula to your infant?"

Something to think about isn't it?