Infant Sleep Training - Is it necessary?

If you think about it, isn't it rather bizarre to sleep train an infant? Sleep comes naturally to all things living. So, why is it that sleep training came about?

My lil boy has never been sleep trained and only recently has he willingly decided to sleep in the comforts of his own bed. When it happened, I then remembered what it felt like to roll around in my sleep and not have to wakeup with a sore arm or neck the next morning!

I have never been a fan of co-sleeping but it was the only way I could ever get a proper nights sleep and successfully breastfeed P. There were many nights I lay wondering when I would get my "bed independence" back, some people even told me that it would go on for 2 years or more! So imagine my surprise when P decided that he too required his own "bed independence".

Having said that, I am a strong believer that babies will learn in due course. As a modern society we are too caught up with competition and expectations that we forget babies are babies afterall.

Below is an excerpt from the Australian Breastfeeding Association regarding sleep training. An interesting read that prompted this short post.

Why do we never ask 'Is it safe for babies to sleep alone?'

Many parents are encouraged to train their babies to sleep through the night alone; however, current scientific research demonstrates that babies are at greater risk when they sleep alone.
 
'Science does not support our current culturally based ideas of "normal" infant sleep - where solitary infant sleep without breastfeeding is thought to be normal or desirable. Most families will, and do, respond to infants' individual needs. Training infants to sleep through the night alone, and at an early age, goes against the infant's neurobiology and psychology. Babies need to be close to an adult and to feed frequently', says Dr James McKenna, who is the Edmund P. Joyce C.S.C. Endowed Chair in Anthropology at the University of Notre Dame.
 
Having pioneered the first physiological studies he is recognised as one of the world's leading authorities on mother-infant co-sleeping, in relationship to breastfeeding and SIDS risk factors. In acknowledgement of his scientific work in the field of SIDS, infant sleep and breastfeeding research he was inducted as a Fellow into the American Association for the Advancement of Science in 2008, an honour accorded a small percentage of America's top scientists.
 
Dr McKenna goes on to say: 'Sleep training is a recent western innovation completely and unnecessary and comes from a western-industrial view that "normal" healthy infants should sleep throughout the night after 3 or 4 months. The questions is not whether they can, but whether they should, or be forced to. They shouldn't. They need to feed frequently to supply nutrients to a brain trying to grow and expanding at a speed never again to be matched throughout the infants' life. The first year of life is not meant for sleeping alone. At least three epidemiological studies at least show that infants should never sleep outside the company of a supervising, committed adult'.

Crossroads

Our time in Sydney is drawing to an end. We have thoroughly enjoyed the 1.5months we have been here and P has achieved plenty within this short time. Which, makes me wonder if it is the environment that has allowed him this advantage or is it simply due to his age.

This trip has opened up crossroads for our family. We are happy in Sydney but there's no income here. The environment and education for P in Sydney is a far cry from what we can obtain in Jakarta. How would we weigh the pros and cons?

I do wonder how other families manage situations like these.

Which has led me to the question. Are you a wife or mother first? How do you juggle the two intertwined roles?

Do we separate and evaluate it differently? How do we be great mothers without leaving out the husbands? These roles require meticulous juggling.

Perhaps this is why traditionally the men are the breadwinners and women are homemakers. It maybe a very old fashion view but it worked. There was no boundary to cross and without having to negotiate, argue and be offended things worked, to a certain extent. But in this day and very expensive age, it is not ideal. It is funny how we have come so far in modern technology but traditionalism is still rooted in us.

Is this the reason why people are putting off marriage and divorce statistics growing?

How do we begin to decide when and how we should move back?

Do we place money above our childs' future or do we place our believe that his future will be the saviour & answer to our (hubbys) sacrifice? I am however, leaning towards the later.

The Power of Play - Infants & Toddlers

I do get asked by many friends why I fill Ps days up with activities. Many (mainly Asians) wonder why I even bother and they always retort "He's too young to understand". Well, I am adamant and cast the comments aside because I truly and deeply believe that whatever I am doing for P now is in his best interest. It's pretty tiring organizing activities around a baby, so no it's not that I am a bored SAHM that I do it, it is because I am a SAHM that I have the luxury to research and attend activities with P.

Apologies as I digress, as this blog post is about the power of play.

I am no expert in this matter, I am purely a mother to a busy 9 month old who likes to read up when her baby is asleep. So, please do not take my ramblings as scientific research. I am open to comments and opinions on this matter.

Play, what is it and why is it important?

To understand this, we have to get back to basics. Do you remember your childhood? What were your favourite moments? I am certain that everyones answer to this would consist some form of
play, be it running down the school corridor, hopscotch, skipping rope, learning to ride a
bicycle or even naughtier and more dangerous antics we found ourselves entangled up in.

Now then, where did we learn how to play? Why is it that babies have such a huge array of toys?

We as a society have completely forgotten and taken for granted the basic most crucial and vital part of our humanity. P-L-A-Y!

It is engrained in us. Playing and playfulness leads to much fun and laughter. Why is it then that infants and toddlers aren't given enough play time?

Play in infant stimulates the brain in more ways than one. It helps them learn to share, builds imagination, refine gross motor skills, explore possibilities, problem solving, encourage creativity, gain independence, introduce social skills and so much more.

With so many positives surrounding play, why do parents still keep their children indoors? It is mind boggling! Parents, I encourage and implore you to start bringing your infants out. Create a local playgroup if this doesn't exist in your area. Don't worry about flashcards and other paraphernalia that supposedly catapults your childs intelligence. Without creativity and an independent mind, academic intelligence is naught.

Even us as adults shouldn't forget the importance of play. Everyone needs time out and laughter. Now that you are done reading this post, get off your seat and flex your mind with play!

Infant Swim Lessons - Water Familiarization

P had his first swim lesson over the weekend, very exciting for us parents but not for him! He cried and made it known he was not happy for half the lesson and was clinging on to a toy for dear life. Not allowing me to put it away when I was changing him too!

The next day I decided to bring him swimming again, lo and behold he launched in on his own paddling towards a ball we had thrown in. So, here is my summation of babies and swimming.

1. They learn fast but forget just as quickly.
2. Everyone can swim, we are only hindered by fear.
3. Attitude of accompanying parent in the water is important as he/she is the main support.
4. Talking and singing helps a LOT.
5. Prepare lots of balls, squeaky toys and noodles.(where can I find swim noodles in Jakarta?)
6. Start swim lessons young before 6 months if possible. (not easy when in Jakarta)
7. A heated pool is a luxury.
8. Go swimming once a week at the very least.
9. Throw out those floaties! They restrict movement.
10. Make it fun for both parent and child.

There was a 6 month old who could freely swim on his own and willingly went underwater too. It was simply amazing to watch.

Lets hope that P will be able to do so within the next few months!

The Return to Normalcy

Seems like it has been ages since we got back from our year end trip but it has only been a mere 2 weeks! I truly need a break from Jakarta again, but for now playgroups have been keeping me sane.

I can possibly say this a million times but our playgroup routine is definitely a life saver. Meeting other mothers and children, chatting over coffee and cake is a rather relaxing and educational experience for us both. Strangely enough P is very much well behaved whenever we are at playgroups; no screaming fits, no unneccesary crying, no fussiness and when we get home he takes a 2-3 hours nap which is a dream!

Now that I have become much more familiar with the playgroup mums, I have organized for more playgroup sessions and activities with them. Lil P has a bursting activities calendar. 3 days a week at different playgroups, once a week at Kindyroo, once a week swimming (more like water familiarization) and we are now organizing Kindermusik too. His activities pretty much takes up the entire week which means my worry of being confined to malls is gone!

Win-win situation since P enjoys himself immensely at these activities and Mummy gets to have grown up conversations too.

Ah....the life of a so-called expat SAHM.

Autism-Vaccine Researcher a Fraud

Came upon this article while looking through tweets. Now all Mothers should rest assure that the MMR vaccine is perfectly FINE!

(Reuters) - Dr. Andrew Wakefield, the-now disgraced British doctor who published studies linking vaccines with autism, committed an "elaborate fraud" by faking data, the British Medical Journal said on Wednesday.

The journal's editors said it was not possible that Wakefield made a mistake but must have falsified the data for his study, which convinced thousands of parents that vaccines are dangerous and which is blamed for ongoing outbreaks of measles and mumps.

The journal, commonly nicknamed the BMJ, supported its position with a series of articles by a journalist who used medical records and interviews to show that Wakefield falsified data.

For instance, the reports found that Wakefield, who included data from only 12 children in his report, studied at least 13 and that several showed symptoms of autism before having been vaccinated.

Fears that vaccines might cause autism have not only caused parents to skip vaccinating their children, but have forced costly reformulations of many vaccines.

"Who perpetrated this fraud? There is no doubt that it was Wakefield," BMJ editor Dr. Fiona Godlee and colleagues wrote in a commentary, available online here

In 1998, The Lancet medical journal, a rival to the BMJ, published a study by Wakefield and colleagues linking the combined measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) vaccine with autism.

The other researchers later withdrew their names from the study and The Lancet formally retracted the paper in February.

DENIAL

Wakefield denied the allegations.

"The study is not a lie. The findings that we have made have been replicated in five countries around the world," Wakefield told CNN television on Wednesday.

A disciplinary panel of Britain's General Medical Council said last February that Wakefield had presented his research in an "irresponsible and dishonest" way and had brought the medical profession into disrepute.

Godlee and colleagues said the work "was based not on bad science but on a deliberate fraud".

"Clear evidence of falsification of data should now close the door on this damaging vaccine scare," they added.

Many experts have tried to show that vaccines might cause autism. Newer suspicions have focused on thimerosal, a mercury-based preservative once used in many vaccines and since removed from childhood vaccines.

But no studies have shown any clear link. The U.S. Institute of Medicine has issued several reports saying not only is there no evidence of a link, but urging researchers to look elsewhere for possible causes of autism, which affects an estimated 1 in 110 children in the United States, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
Measles is one of the most contagious viruses known, infecting 10 million people a year and killing 164,000, according to the World Health Organization.
Vaccination has reduced the number of measles deaths by 78 percent, WHO says. But refusal by some parents to get children vaccinated has helped fuel a resurgence in Britain.
In a 2007 U.S. outbreak, 127 people became ill and nearly half were children who had not been vaccinated because their parents objected, the CDC said. In 2009, an outbreak in Wales sickened more than 200 people
(Reporting by Maggie Fox, editing by Philip Barbara)

Source - Reuters

Of Resolutions and the Future

A very Happy New Year to everyone.

Now that we are coming to the end of the first week of 2011, realities of the new year would be setting in and everyone getting back into usual routines. 

We came back from holidays a couple of days ago. It was good to be out of Jakarta but we were rained on both in Bali and Singapore. Not to mention the ridiculous crowd in Singapore. It was a feat in itself maneuvering around the sea of people at the lobby of Marina Bay Sands hotel and along Orchard. The queues for shopping, food and taxis were a test to our patience and lil P. Note to self, never visit Bali during monsoon season and never Singapore during festive season!

I'm generally one of those who reflect on the past year and use it as a base to write up resolutions. However, this year I have yet to come up with any or even look back on 2010. Which got me thinking how a small little person can cause a huge shift in our lives. Instead of wondering if I fared well in 2010 and listing out resolutions I find myself looking much further into the future. Among the questions that have been swirling around my head are.

1. Will P grow up in Jakarta?
2. How long will we live in Jakarta and when will we move back to Sydney?
3. How will Jakarta's culture affect Ps upbringing?
4. How Indonesian will I allow P to be?
5. When will I be able to go back to work?
6. Are we ready for a second child?

Although I do not mind living in Jakarta, this city sorely lacks outdoors activities, parks, playgrounds, clean air and even clean water. I yearn for P to grow up rolling on the grass, having picnics, exploring the great outdoors, going for walks and learning various sports instead of being a confined to indoor playgrounds or visiting malls day in day out.

Growing up in Kuala Lumpur, I was blessed to have a maid majority of my life only because both parents were working and they needed someone at home with us. However, my parents did a great job in making sure we knew our place. A task and feat I would need to go through now that we have ample help in Jakarta where the average household has not 1 but 2 maids.

Although I do not have a nanny, we do have 2 wonderful maids at home and I do not want P growing up thinking he can just leave the dining table without clearing his plates, make a mess while playing and not pack up, most of all I do not want him to not be able to say please and thank you. I have seen too many children who run amok at malls, be rude to their nannies, not know how to respect others and I shudder to think P may grow up to be like them.

I remember when I was little, Dad used to tell me about the "Unsung Heroes" such as the street cleaners, the garbage collectors. Honestly, I never did give it much thought till Dad pointed it out and I have carried that lesson right up to adulthood.

Will I be able to instill values and mannerisms into P that isn't influenced by the cultures of Jakarta? Perhaps my resolution for 2011 would be to decipher my childhood and remember lessons taught by my parents so that I will be able to pass it on to P. Cause hey, it's tried and tested and I believe I have grown up to be a decent human being! (I have haven't I? hehe....)